The Walking Dead: Season 5 Starter Kit

The Walking Dead: Season 5 Starter Kit

  *Spoiler Alert: Well, to a degree.* After watching the beginning moments of the closest thing cable television has ever seen to a snuff film (which were 4 men of whom I barely remember from last season), Season 5 of The Walking Dead was underway. The not-so-lucky, but conveniently placed gents naturally had to get it first. Otherwise, there would be rioting and looting in various parts of the country. Hi’s and low’s weren’t exactly the theme, but lots and lots (and lots) of blood. Shit, I think blood deserves a credit here, seeing as how it (the blood) really stepped up the acting chops this time around. I honestly don’t remember there being this much blood in previous seasons. Either way, right out of the gate we have action. To get on with it, Terminus was exactly what we thought it was. A goddamn slaughterhouse. I guess we knew that, but seeing human meat hung in a butcher-shop style fashion for the first time is a little unsettling. I’m still trying to determine if there was some borrowing from the Quentin Tarantino playbook here. Carol pulls off something we only thought Chuck Norris was capable of with her efforts at the Terminus gate. Not to mention Carol’s bottle rocket was so accurate it had to have been an accident. Not sure how she did that, but I wish mine would go that straight and quit hitting the neighbor’s house. I highly doubt she intended for it to be raining walkers, but nonetheless she did ignite the Terminus coup we’ve all been waiting for. We also learned that testing...
The Law is the Law

The Law is the Law

Not everyone knows that The Walking Dead town of Woodbury isn’t always surrounded by sharpshooters picking off zombies and ran by some jerk off with an eye patch. It is a real place just south of Atlana, Georgia. The town of Senoia to be exact. With a population of 3,307, Senoia has the same small town feel as it does on The Walking Dead. But the most interesting part of this little Georgia town isn’t that it’s typically filled with actors. It’s a law on the books that requires citizens to possess no less than an ounce of marijuana or, well…IT’S ILLEGAL. It seems like when the ordinance (punishable by misdemeanor) was written into the books there was quite possibly a typo or oversight in the editing department. No one has been charged up to date, but there’s really not an urge by local council or the community to change the language. Recently a resident of Senoia challenged the Senoia City Council with a Writ of Mandamus lawsuit to have the law changed. The gentleman challenging the language, which he described as “vague” and “inappropriate”, lost and was ordered to pay around $7,000 by a Superior Court judge for the City of Senoia’s legal fees. He’s currently appealing the ruling to the Supreme Court of Georgia. Just more wasted resources in a time where resources should be reserved for issues that actually matter and pose necessity to our infrastructure and the betterment of society. Whether the law was an accident or intended by the coolest City Council in the history of America, the town isn’t filled with stoners and...

On the Way Out With the Kardashians Courtesy of Kayne

Well, it finally happened. Kayne West has successfully convinced the world he’s as batshit fucking crazy as he, not only wanted us to think, but as he actually is. In an interview with BBC, Kayne West made some grandiose claims such as being a god, a rock star, fashion pioneer of the most ridiculous concept of clothing in the history of fashion, and a ton of other random nonsense that seems to be true to him. The thing about this most recent media encounter isn’t the fact that he sounds like a delusional-schizophrenic-bipolar crazy man. No, he’s just adding to the far fall the Kardashian clan seems to be experiencing at the moment. Let’s just take a quick birds-eye view of how the Kardashian family came to “earn” their success. Mother, Kris Jenner, was married to defense attorney Robert Kardashian who famously represented O.J. Simpson as one of the key members of his legal defense team during his murder trial. Together the ended up having 4 children (Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, and Robert). After the Simpson trial and extramarital affairs, they later divorced and Kris remarried in 1991 to Bruce Jenner. Flash forward to 2007, a sex tape of Kim (circa 2003) leaked at the time when sex tapes were all the rage. In a strange coincidence, E! promptly offered the family a reality show where they would document their lives one scripted day at a time. The show’s immediate success allowed Kris Jenner to become the most successful pimp since Bishop Don “Magic” Juan. The media shitshow, which is the Kardashians, has seemingly started it’s long overdue fall from...

The Walking Dead: Season 3 Finale

Between Game of Thrones fans trying like hell to prove how much cooler they think their show is than The Walking Dead and Kevin Ware’s compound fracture, The Walking Dead Season 3 Finale was finally decided to have it’s day in court. The week leading up to the Season Finale, Merle met his end at the hand of The Governor much to everyone’s surprise. The most ironic part surrounding that sudden twist was the reaction by those who hated Merle just days, or even minutes prior to his demise. Most people finally were won over by the salty old dog after seeing his sweet side by letting Michonne go and attempting to roll The Governor, doing Team Prison a solid. Since that’s old news, here we are. The final showdown. Woodbury unknowingly has been preparing for this day upon first discovery of the prison crew’s existence. Though, just like any dramatic moment in television history, the villain has to be the villain. In this instance it’s The Governor roughing up his long time confidant and esteemed trustee who helped him get in his current position of power through scientific discovery and all-around sound decision making. Since Andrea has been locked away for what seems like two weeks now, The Governor will finally let her know he hasn’t forgotten he left her in his weirdo torture room by giving her some company. After once again showing his dominance through brute force and pure assholishness, Milton was faced with a forcible decision to murder Andrea one way or another. The Governor slides him the knife to do his dirt and collectively...